


strange you never knew

by theeternalblue



Category: Riverdale (TV 2017)
Genre: Angst, Friendship, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-08
Updated: 2020-09-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 17:48:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,671
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26352925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/theeternalblue/pseuds/theeternalblue
Summary: over a letter, Jughead reflects on his life and his childhood best friend
Relationships: Archie Andrews/Jughead Jones, Archie Andrews/Veronica Lodge (mentioned), Betty Cooper/Jughead Jones (mentioned)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 14





	strange you never knew

**Author's Note:**

> I feel this is more of a character study than anything else, but I hope you enjoy

The envelope has been on top of his desk since this morning when the mail arrived. The uneven blocky handwriting of someone he knows painfully well beckons his gaze as he sips his after-lunch black coffee. He keeps his eyes glued to it wondering how and when Archie Andrews decided letters were a great form of communication. But Jughead can remember perfectly well the first one, the three pages of Archie’s scrambled thoughts and the apologies pouring out like black ink spilled over a white page.

Maybe today he should’ve had a shot of whiskey instead of coffee.

After taking a place as an Associate professor at Emory University, Jughead has gotten used to being called professor Jones or Forsythe. It might have to do with the early decision of signing his books as F. P. Jones - who would’ve bought a noir novel with an author called Jughead? He can group people in his life in two categories, those who still call him Jughead and those who don’t. The first one he can count with his fingers.

He sighs and picks up the envelope, leaving his unfinished drink on his desk over a copy of a Dan Brown book someone gave him as an ironic gift and has made a very useful coaster. 

The first word he encounters on the page is _Jug_ and it almost makes him snort. Archie is in some ways still a child, despite looking older on the outside and even if his heart has been hurt one too many times, leaving bold scars behind. Once those scars pulled them together – their mothers leaving, their fathers working together. Fred picking him up to go to pee wee league even if he was never athletic enough to hit the ball because FP was too drunk to leave the couch, was what finally made them best friends.

_“... I miss my best friend...”_

His eyes linger on the word friend.

Once Jughead thought they were brothers. Family.

He longed for weekends in which Fred allowed sleepovers for him and Archie, to leave the trailer behind, the stench of liquor, the screaming, the dirt. But also to be with Archie. His bright eyes and the smile, those big ears Archie’s head had some trouble catching up with.

Everyone said they were the best friends. It was said so often, Jughead started to believe it.

That was until at nine Archie was kissed by Nancy at a birthday party, and Jughead felt his stomach twisting. After two pieces of cake, for the first time in his life, he said no to free food as he watched Archie’s reddened cheeks and shy smile. It was difficult to know how he felt, to explain it, so he only took it out on Reggie. But making Reggie look confused and making him lose a game only served to get himself thrown in the pool.

Having to wear Dilton Doiley’s clothes was the last straw in a very dreadful party. He wished he could forget it, but it also was the moment he knew Archie would be by his side for better or worse when the Andrews kid sat next to him offering a cone of ice cream, even if everyone else wouldn’t even look his way.

And then puberty hit, and everything turned upside down. While Archie’s wild cocktail of hormones drove him through dangerous paths, and then a string of girlfriends – some more significant than others – Jughead let jealousy eat him up. By then he knew what was going on.

Many think Betty was his first love, but Jughead knows very well that wasn’t the case. He had fallen before for someone who would never look at him that way. And maybe that’s why he fell for Betty – she had seen the same qualities and flaws in Archie. They both saw him watch other people with shiny eyes, fall for someone who wasn’t them.

_“... I won’t hold it against you…”_

Archie still thinks his biggest mistake was the little tryst with Betty, something that even if hurtful, Jughead could understand. He might’ve been expecting it at some point. That one mistake was the last shake for a bottle full of cracks, and the pieces went flying everywhere. But the cracks were there, invisible, and carefully put together for appearances.

Things were never back to how they were.

And yet, years later he found a letter much like the one he’s holding now.

Archie spoke about his life, about leaving and growing and realizing his roots were what kept him true to himself.

The fool had gone back to Riverdale. Jughead remembers laughing because of course, Archie would go back. His hero complex wouldn’t allow for the damn town to implode as it should. That project of Gotham city had turned on the beacon to call him in the form of the only light that could make Archie want to do the impossible: Veronica Lodge. No matter how much she swore to loathe him after his betrayal, she still needed him.

Jughead remembers the letters, reading about the blossoming romance like a dahlia that had been saved from winter, waiting for the right time to live again. And it all came back. That burning at the pit of his stomach, the bad taste in his mouth whenever he happened to see a sign of them.

_“I have nothing to forgive.”_

The taste of acid reflux, the splitting headache, and the dizziness is one memory he won’t let go of. Tequila is not his friend, but it seemed like a great companion when Archie happily mentioned in a postscript that he was planning on proposing to Veronica, _now that things were going great._

He still wonders why he felt the need to get drunk out of his mind if he had been aware of the stupidity of his hopes from early on.

For some reason, Jughead broke things up with his girlfriend of the time, and four days later he got the news Veronica had said yes. This time he didn’t get wasted, and instead crafted a new volume of his noir series, in which the morally ambiguous anti-hero and his best friend had a rendezvous while investigating some case involving a rich and young divorcee – critics called it a bit trite but daring as he explored the duality of his signature character.

Jughead was baffled when he found an invitation to the wedding in his mail, this time not sent by Archie alone. Veronica’s name in golden ink next to Archie’s promised eternity for the couple.

He was hellbent on saying no, but Betty called him. “One last time for us to forgive ourselves. Redemption is always a good storyline, Juggie.” And yes, he might’ve wanted that. One last chance to face his fears, to bury the hatchet, and finally let go of the weight they had been dragging for years.

He should’ve known there would be a bachelor’s party. Reggie _fucking_ Mantle took every opportunity he had to partake on a bacchanal.

“Bacchanal, Reggie. Can you spell it?” Jughead quipped, but this time Reggie pretended to be angry until he smirked and laughed.

“You’re still a weird bastard, Jones. Some things never change.” Reggie shook his head and slung his arm around Jughead’s shoulders to lead him into the new Whyte Wyrm – much like the old one with strippers and drunks, but less shady businesses and crime.

Archie chuckled.

They had drink after drink, and Moose Mason sang an Elton John song that made a drunk Kevin weep because that was their song, apparently. And between a shot of whiskey and something that tasted like Jagermeister, Jughead started to feel dizzy and like his bladder would give out.

He went to the restroom and on his way out, Archie was there in the hall leaning against the wall, waiting for the restroom. His cheeks were reddened and there was a smile on his lips – telltale signs that he was drunk as well. His red hair slightly messed up, and his hands on his pockets.

In a moment of clarity, Jughead realized this was the last time they would ever be alone like this. And he’s not quite sure he would’ve done things differently but he wouldn’t have done the same either, because he wished Archie had been sobered and had understood things completely with a clear mind instead of being ambushed. When Jughead grabbed Archie by the shirt and pressed his lips to those of his childhood best friend’s, to the boy who exuded love, the one who was in most of the happiest memories of his life, he felt his carefully created mask of irony slipping.

Archie tensed up before he seemed to sober up. His body relaxed, but he grabbed Jughead by his upper arms to keep him in place, not pulling or pushing, but waiting to see what would happen. And when Jughead felt a wave of shame wash over, of fear of rejection, his eyes prickled even if closed. He pulled away and didn’t dare to look at Archie’s face. He never saw the confusion or the question in them.

“Jug,” Archie called as he reached for Jughead’s sleeve, but Jughead shook it off.

“Better me than a stranger with unknown medical records,” he joked and left him there.

He avoided Archie up until the wedding, and after dancing with Betty at the reception, Jughead snuck out. He left once again pretending things hadn’t happened.

_“Are you okay? Just talk to me. I’ve sent two other letters and you still haven’t replied.”_

Jughead reached for a piece of paper and the silver fountain pen some of his students had given him for a birthday and prepared to write.

_“I love you.”_

But once again, like so many before, he balls the paper and it ends up crumpled in the trash before he takes a new sheet and starts with his usual greeting.

_Arch, you should consider learning how to type on a computer and email me as normal people do._


End file.
